WIN: Juno and Drew Barrymore celebrate mediocrity

I wish I hadn’t been so quick to use the facepalm picture on the last post. That was before I’d seen the trailer for Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut Whip It starring Ellen Page as Bliss. Stellar class, cookie-cutter looking crap.

I can’t even be bothered with a synopsis. Guys, watch this if only to see Daniel Stern who appears to have literally been out in the cold looking for work for the last three years. Also, the last line of the trailer is pretty darn gold.

BUH-BYE ELLEN PAGE, DIDN’T LIKE YOU WHEN YOU WERE JENEANE GAROFALO

FAIL: $602 for Freddy Got Fingered and Dumb and Dumber

When they inevitably do a third Dumb and Dumber film (they did a prequel), this kid will star. From news.com.au:

SOME teenagers might rebel by staying out late, but one 16-year-old who stayed home cost his mum $602. Jack Featherston downloaded two movies – Dumb and Dumber and Freddy Got Fingered – to his laptop, not knowing that the large files would add a hefty $573 to the bill. His mum, Michele Collins, told the Geelong Advertiser she now owns a very valuable copy of Dumb and Dumber.

“I could have hired it for $3 or bought my own copy at Big W for $9.99,” she said. “Instead I have the most expensive copy of that movie.” Jack downloaded the movies over 3’s mobile internet using a $29 monthly plan. He had 3.5GB of included downloads, with an excess fee of 10c per MB. However, with a single high-definition movie reaching over 4GB, Jack should have used his wired home broadband – which has a much larger download limit.

Don’t worry yourself too hard, Jackieboy. We’ve all done that, once. You only ever do it once. Just not as epicly as you did.

EPIC WIN: For the haters

What the fuck. Wow. Just…. wow.

Stick with it til 1.28, you’ll see what I mean. Odds are you’ll then be watching til the end too, trying to work it out. Seriously, stay with it til the end. He serenades you, and it is a thing of beauty, despite him wearing a body bag on his head.

Juggalo love indeed.

WIN: Vampires drop the ball in ‘Daybreakers’

I am about to say something I don’t say very often at all, maybe once every three years – there’s an Australian movie I’m looking forward to.

Daybreakers is from the the Spierig brothers, two Queensland boys who made the zombie/alien insanity Undead a few years back. They holed away and spent years working on more cost efficient CGI, meaning they were ready for the big leagues. They weren’t kidding!

When almost everyone is a vampire, there’s no blood left. They have to save us to save themselves. BRILLIANT

Look at this cast: Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Isabel Lucas, Sam Neill, Claudia Karvan, Jay Laga’aia and Vince Colosimo! Neville fuckin Bartos gets a lookin!

WIN: [REC]2 will pretty much fuck up your day

Having a good day?

Guess what – change of plans. [REC]2 trailer is out and shit just got REAL:

If you’ve not seen [REC], you’re a) not a true zombie fan, b) a fucking pussy and c) missing out on the best POV film ever. Unlike Cloverfield, this baby was designed for the small screen and will force you to sleep with the lights on for days. I saw this Spanish film while in Rome with Italian subtitles, so I didn’t have a clue what was being said, and even then I couldn’t stop raving about it. Once I saw it in English, things went to a whole different level.

If you have seen it, the following news will fill you with equal excitement and dread: The writers, producers, directors and crew have ALL returned. The story picks up in the same building minutes later where a military team are dispatched to investigate the building (in other words, what Aliens did to the plot of Alien). Without spoiling completely, the cast list on imdb includes someone who, when we last saw, had their fate up in the air…