One of the best parts of hitting a zoo early is that you can sometimes find yourself alone with animals. Most people do that dumbshit kissing noise, trying to get attention. I prefer to just tell the animal how it fucking is.
Giraffes need a good kick square in the teeth, and if I’d been able to jump the moat, I would’ve been the one to administer it.
Yelling curses at critters is insanely fun.
Below you see one of my fave internet pics, wonderously titled Giraffe Vs Plane
Lollllllllllllll….. You fuckin’ rocked those vertically overachieving weirdo beasts boyyyy!
This makes me think of Magic: The Gathering.
Both these cunts were 1/1